The Worst Things About Sues
by mbus55
Summary: In an unfortunate accident Amy gets dragged to Middle Earth by a bunch of brainless Mary Sues. But her problems are only beginning and things get more complicated when she finds herself with a group of Sue Slayers.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you for deciding to read this humor story. I hope that you like it! Please review and let me know what you think._

**Chapter #1:**

It was a normal day in high school. I was bored and confused to the point of insanity. Chemistry first thing in the morning can do that to you. I sat with two of my friends at our lab table trying to get the chemicals to mix correctly. It was not, however, going well.

"I think we added too much!" my one friend cried as the tube began to overflow. The three of us began to mop up the spill and pull our notebooks out of the way.

"We need more paper towels," my other friend remarked.

"I'll get them," I offered. I stood up and walked across the classroom towards the table where the cleaning supplies were kept. The table closest to that was occupied by three of my other classmates.

But they were not my friends. These three were blond girls, wearing a ton of makeup, (each), and looking abnormally occupied with what was in their test tube.

At the table next to them was the new student, Nicole. She kept looking over at the other table suspiciously. Obviously she was wondering if those three girls were really as dumb as they looked.

Speaking as someone who had gone to class with those three for several years now I could confirm that they were indeed that stupid.

Their names were Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn. They were best friends and girly girls in the worst possible way. Just listening to their conversations was enough to decrease a person's IQ points.

All of the sudden I noticed something peculiar. The little test tube that sat between Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn began to glow. And not just a faint glow but something like a flashlight with new batteries. Also the light was pink. I was so stunned that I stared as I walked towards my table.

What I didn't see was Nicole, also looking at the pink light, coming towards me. She didn't see me either and we bumped into each other. I fell backwards, towards Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn's table. But I never hit the table.

Instead I fell onto the surface of a cave floor.

"Like what's she doing here?" Tara asked.

"Like obviously she like totally got in our way," Marley answered flipping her hair back as all three of them stared at me. I stared right back, unable to move or to process exactly what was going on.

"Like what's her name again?" Caitlyn asked tilting her head as she looked at the other two.

"It's like Amy," Tara answered, "she's like that drab girl from our class at like school."

"You like mean one of like the drab girls," Caitlyn giggled brainlessly.

At this moment I was still in a state of shock. Not only had something extremely weird happened, I was beginning to realize that something truly, truly horrible had happened.

I had somehow gotten dragged along on an adventure intended only for those whose common sense had been killed by the amount of hair products they used.

"Where are we?" I asked, still on the ground, "What are we doing here? How did we get here?" I could have kept asking questions but I decided to wait for some answers. The three blondes looked at each other, deciding how to answer.

"Well you're like in Middle Earth," Tara told me, "Marley like made some potion to like take us here."

"You're joking," I accused her standing up finally, "there's no such thing as Middle Earth or magic potions. Besides you can't make things like that in a Chemistry class. The reason is because they simply don't exist in the first place." I looked at Tara's eyes, which I could have sworn were brown. "Are your eyes bright neon purple all of the sudden?" Caitlyn and Marley looked at Tara, each with a bored expression on their face.

"Like yeah so?" Caitlyn said rolling her eyes. I noticed that her eyes were now much blue-er then any eyes should be. They also seemed to have grown so that they looked too big to be real. It was scary.

"What are you?" I asked as I took several steps backwards, running into the wall of the cave, "Mary-Sues or something?"

"Like duh," Marley laughed, "like how else would we be able to get here?" She had a point, but it wasn't comforting me at all. In fact it terrified me out of my wits. So I did the only thing I could think to do.

I made a run for it.

But I ran into a problem as soon as I stepped out of the cave. The problem was that despite being told that I was in Middle Earth by the three Sues I wasn't prepared to actually come face to face with it. The city of Edoras, way off in the distance, tilted and fell away to blackness as I fainted.

-- 

I woke up but I didn't move and I especially didn't open my eyes. All the better to pretend that there was no such thing as Sues and that Middle Earth was just a beautiful, gorgeous, and yet at the same time imaginary world created by J. R. R. Tolkien in his books.

Just then all of my pretending and wishing was ruined by the horrible sounds of the Sues talking.

"Like what do we do with her?" Tara was asking.

"We like kill her," Caitlyn said hopefully, "Pretty pretty princess please!"

"Like I think we should first," Marley said, "find out like whether she is willing to serve us or not. I mean, like it's not as if we like actually want to do work when we have to be busy with like all of the hawt guys here!"

"Like totally!" Tara exclaimed and then the three Sues collapsed into giggles.

So my choices were be killed by the Sues or pretend to be friends with the Sues. Great, I couldn't think of a worse predicament. In fact I was beginning to believe that there was nothing that could be worse then listening to the Sues talk. Except being killed by the Sues. So I gritted my teeth and sat up.

"Like hey most beautiful people ever," I gushed pasting a fake smile on my face.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review this story! Thank you to ClumsyElf, lotrelves, Queenofinsanity, Elvin BlueEyes, all-evil-grins, MythicalCreature, and Geek Squared 1307 you guys are the best._

_I'd also like to apologize for the overuse of like. To better preserve your sanity I highly warn against attempting to say any of the Sues lines aloud or even thinking too hard about them. In making them as Sue-Like as possible I fear I've given them the power to make your ears bleed. Sorry…_

_Hope you enjoy the chapter! Look for another update next week!_

_**Disclaimer:**_

_I am a poor college student with absolutely no direction in life. Doesn't take a genius to know that I __don't__ own Lord of the Rings or really anything else. Sucks for me._

**Chapter #2:**

It was official, pretending to like the Sues was going to kill me, **literally** kill me.

The Mary Sues really loved the idea of having someone to do things for them. So far my tasks had ranged from doing their nails, (neon pink with glitter), washing their many pink outfits, building jail cells, cooking food, and telling them how wonderful they were. It was a wonder I was still alive.

But the point was that I was still alive, so I saw the whole thing as, (at the very least), a victory.

It was a few days after we had been in Middle Earth when the Sues did something different. They locked me up in one of the cells, (they trusted me but not enough to stay put when they left), and went off giggling among themselves. Whatever they were up to, I was willing to bet all the money in the world that it was not a good thing.

And I would have won that bet if someone else had been around to make said bet with me.

After almost a whole day the three Mary Sues came back, with two unconscious men. I almost groaned aloud when I recognized Eomer and Faramir. I quickly suppressed the groan and put the stupid fake smile on my face.

"Like they're hawt," I felt like throwing up from saying this but it made the Sues giggle.

"And like they're totally all like ours," Caitlyn said as she opened the cell door and motioned me out. "So like don't you even like think about like touching them." I scurried out of the cell, skipping a little bit to complete my dumb fan girl image, and Marley and Tara dragged the two men in and locked the cell.

"There," Marley grinned, "like that ought to like do it. Now we like just have to wait for them to like wake up and like fall madly in love with us."

"We should like totally celebrate," Tara exclaimed, "Amy like make us some dinner."

"Three non-fat salads coming up," I said with the most enthusiasm I could muster. The three Sues stared at me and I realized my mistake. "Like I'll get totally them as like fast as I like possibly can." With the "like" quota met the three Sues flounced out of the room to change their dresses for dinner, completely unsuspicious. After a bit I came into where the Mary Sues were waiting, bringing their salads.

"Like took you long enough," Marley snapped as I came in.

"I'm like totally sorry," I lied before practically running out of the room.

None of the idiots even noticed that the keys to the jail cell were clutched in my hand.

"My name's Amy," I whispered as I unlocked the cage with the stolen keys, "I'm here to rescue you guys in hope that you guys can help me get back to my own world. Oh, and if you can kill the three Sues, that would be awesome as well." Eomer and Faramir exchanged looks.

"Are you insane?" Eomer asked. I shrugged.

"I used to think that I was but then I met those three. I know I'm not that screwed up." The two men shuddered as they thought of the Sues.

"Let's just get out of here," Faramir said, "Eowyn must be worried." Faramir and Eomer exited the cell and we left towards the opening of the cave.

"Tut tut tut," it was Tara's voice. With a sinking feeling the three of us turned and saw the three Sues standing there, "you are all like so naughty. Trying to like escape from like the loves of your life."

"I didn't know you cared," I snarled sarcastically.

"Like eww," Caitlyn squealed, "like that's not even like funny!"

"For the love of all that is good, stop saying '_like'_ you idiot children! You are driving me insane with your brainless chatter!" Eomer burst out, unable to handle the stupidity anymore.

-- 

"You really shouldn't have made them mad," I commented to Eomer as the three of us sat in the cell. The cell now had two locks and Eomer, Faramir, and I were tied up very securely.

"I just could not take it anymore," Eomer defended himself. Caitlyn was in the room as well, "guarding" us. It was more like she was drooling over the two men and trying to win their hearts.

"My Fari-Wari and Eo-" she wrinkled her nose, "it's like hard to make your name like cute. I'll just like call you Snuggle Bear, kay?" Eomer's face went green and he started banging his head against the stone.

"Kill me now," Eomer moaned.

"No you kill me," Faramir countered.

"What about me?" I asked. "Who's going to put me out of my misery?"

"You do not have a nickname," Faramir told me.

"Mine is the worst so I deserve to go first," Eomer said as he stopped banging his head against the wall to glare at us. Caitlyn had stopped talking and was looking in at us scandalized.

"Aren't like you two like in love with me?" she asked, tears threatening to spill out.

The two men burst into uncontrollable laughter and I rolled my eyes and snorted loudly several times through my own laughter. Caitlyn tossed her hair dramatically and ran out, prettily sobbing her dumb heart out.

"That was fun," I remarked when I had calmed down enough to talk again. Just then Tara and Marley stormed in.

"We've like decided to kill you Amy," Marley told me, "after all you're like not important and we have no need for like a traitor who like tried to let our prisoners get away." They opened the cell and managed to drag me out, while still keeping Eomer and Faramir in.

"Hey now," I said in what I hoped was a friendly voice, "there's no reason why we can't all get along with each other. Right?" They continued to drag me out of the cave. "Guys? Oh come on, I swear I won't call you stupid if you let me live. Hell, I'll go as far as to call you geniuses if you let me live."

Sadly they ignored me.

When we got outside of the cave I saw Caitlyn standing there, holding a very real sword and looking stupid, (as she always did), but at the same time happy. It was very creepy. Things were not looking good for me.

"You shouldn't have crossed us," Tara told me as she and Marley struggled to hold me still. I was struggling and screaming as I tried to escape from the Mary-Sues. There was no doubt in my mind that they would kill me. And that they would enjoy it too.

"Like goodbye Amy," Caitlyn giggled.

But before she could kill me a cry caused them all to turn. It was three people running towards us. The person in the lead was a woman. But that wasn't even the most shocking thing.

It was the new girl from school, Nicole. Nicole and the two other people were brandishing swords at the Sues. Marley and Tara threw me to the ground and ran, followed quickly by Caitlyn. Nicole stopped when she reached me while the two others followed the Sues.

"Here," she reached down and helped me to my feet, "sorry it took me so long to get here."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_

_So I'm sorry but this chapter is mostly explanation, so it's not very exciting. I hope that you all will forgive me, and I will have a little more action in the next chapter. Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read and especially to everyone who reviewed._

**Chapter #3:**

"What's wrong with your friend there?" One of the two people who had come with Nicole asked. Ever since Nicole had helped me off the ground I had been muttering to myself and rocking slightly as I tried to fight off the mental breakdown that was threatening. The person who had asked was a woman and the other was a guy, about my age, probably a little older though.

"Never mind that," Nicole waved the question away, "she's just had a little shock. Where are the Sues?"

"They got away," the boy snarled angrily kicking a rock on the ground. Nicole's face darkened as she turned to him sharply.

"You let them get away Mitch?"

"This is all your fault anyway Nicole," the woman snapped, "you told us not to bother being ready because you were going to take care of it on your own."

"Joanne," Mitch interjected, "it wasn't Nicole's fault that she's a klutz. That's just the way that she is." He and Joanne laughed and Nicole fixed them with a glare which they both ignored. Mitch looked over at me. "By the way, are you sure that your friend's all right? She seems to be hyperventilating." I was, it was all too much.

"Sit down and put your head between your knees honey," Joanne advised, "it'll make you feel better."

"Faramir and Eomer are in there," I told them. Mitch and Joanne turned and headed that way. "Are you Mary-Sues?"

"If I were a Sue I would have changed my eyes to green years ago," Joanne said over her shoulder.

"Don't worry," Nicole told me, "we're the good guys."

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked.

"I work for a group named the Protectors of Dimensional Balance, specifically a faction called Section 3.5, which strives to bring down Mary Sues," she told me, "I transferred to your school when those three turned up on our radar. I never meant for you to come here, I meant to get close enough to go with them. But well…" she shrugged, "you know."

"I could have died!" I exclaimed looking at her.

"Why do you think I called in those two clowns as back-up?" she asked. "Do you think I wanted the whole Section to know that I had screwed up and accidentally caused an innocent person to be at the mercy at the Sues?"

I had no answer to this, so I put my head back between my knees and concentrated on breathing regularly. Yay me! I was breathing regularly again. With an accomplishment like that under my belt maybe next I could try making sense of this whole situation.

Who was I kidding?

A few minutes later Joanne and Mitch came back out with Eomer and Faramir, now untied and both looking as confused as I felt.

"And you have dedicated your lives to hunting those things?" Faramir asked.

"That's right," Joanne replied cheerfully, "I do it for the free travel."

"I'm doing it to get back at my parents," Mitch told him looking evasive. We all looked at Nicole who shrugged.

"I just enjoy killing Sues."

"I should have stayed in Gondor," Faramir muttered to Eomer, "next time Eowyn wants to see you, you are just going to have to come to Minas Tirith and visit us."

"We'll probably have to head there next," Nicole interrupted them, "these Sues are after all of the attractive male characters so they'll be going after Aragorn next I think. Then probably on to Legolas."

"Legolas and Gimli are both in Minas Tirith visiting," Eomer informed them.

"Please," Faramir asked the three Sue hunters, "can we get there before those creatures? We'd have to go back to Edoras for horses and it might take too long." Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch looked at each other, unsure what to say.

"They umm, they have pink flying horses," I muttered unhappily. Everyone turned to stare at me and I shrugged. "They have a stable for them."

"Is that even possible?" Eomer asked looking scared.

"One of a Sues strongest abilities is their ability to create imaginary creatures that they perceive as 'cute' that they can keep as cuddly pets," Mitch told them.

"Why are the animals they have always pink?" Nicole groaned.

"Could be worse," Joanne muttered, "remember the magic color-changing flying panda bear?" The three Sue Hunters shuddered and Eomer, Faramir, and I exchanged yet another terrified look. It was painful to be introduced to the ways of the Sues.

"I guess we have no choice," Nicole sighed looking revolted, "but I am not going to be happy about it."

"You mean we're going to fly on the pink monstrosities?" Mitch asked looking at Nicole incredulously.

"Yes that is what I mean," Nicole snapped.

"We can not go off to Minas Tirith without telling Eowyn what is happening," Faramir reminded Eomer who nodded.

"At least one of you will have to come and help us convince Aragorn of the danger of the Mary-Sues," Mitch told them. The two men looked at each other, speaking too low for us to hear them properly. Finally Faramir sighed looking tired but certain.

"I'll talk to Aragorn," he said running a hand through his hair, "just tell Eowyn that I'm sorry that I left."

"I will," Eomer nodded.

"Okay," Joanne interrupted, "then the rest of us should head off now. No point in prolonging this…" Joanne's face contorted in disgust as she searched for a word to describe the task we were faced with. "Experience," she concluded finally.

"Thank you all for your assistance in rescuing me from those horrible females," Eomer said with a solemn head nod to us. Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch bowed to him and I followed suit clumsily. Then he left.

"The rest of us will go to the stables now," Joanne called, "we're ready to go." Faramir, Nicole, Mitch, and I went over to Joanne.

I led the way and reluctantly. There were three flying pink horses and five of us. Nicole and I rode together and Mitch and Faramir rode on another while Joanne was lucky enough to ride by herself.

We didn't talk much and everyone tried to avoid looking at the horses we were riding. I didn't know how long it was supposed to take to get to Minas Tirith but on our magical flying horses it ended up taking only just over twelve hours.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:**_

_Ogreatrandom here. Thank you again to everyone who has reviewed! I really appreciate it! Anyway I hope you like the next chapter!_

**Chapter #4:**

Aragorn, Arwen, Gimli, and Legolas exchanged looks. Then they looked at Faramir. After that they looked over Nicole, Joanne, Mitch, and I. Finally they repeated the whole process two times before they could come up with something to say.

"So you work for the Protectors Of Dimensional Balance?" Arwen asked.

"Yes," Nicole nodded, "we quite literally protect dimensions other then the one that we are born in. And within this group there are several sections, each with their own specific area of interest. Ours, Section 3.5, hunts the creatures that are coming after you." Not one of the people from Middle Earth seemed to be understanding Nicole's explanation, which wasn't surprising since I didn't understand it either.

"And these…?"

"Mary Sues my lords and lady," Faramir supplied.

"Mary Sues," Aragorn continued with a wrinkled nose, "will come here and try to…" his voice trailed off again embarrassed.

"Seduce you away from your wife and make you their love slave," Joanne said in a helpful voice. Or it would have been helpful if she hadn't sounded so amused.

Legolas looked distinctly uneasy. Aragorn's eyes widened slightly, but other then that he looked unruffled. He looked over at his wife and put a comforting hand on her arm. Gimli did not look half as concerned as he did curious.

"It will never happen," the King told us.

"No offence your highness," Nicole said dryly, "but that won't keep them from trying. And think of the people who could get hurt while they're going after you." Aragorn frowned, thinking hard.

"We will help you in anyway we can if you keep my husband safe from them," Arwen said before Aragorn could reply. He smiled at her reassuringly.

"We will," Nicole told her solemnly. Something in her voice made her sound slightly scary. I noticed Joanne giving Nicole an odd look but a second later she was looking back at the king and queen.

"We've arrived here before them," Mitch told them, "but the Mary Sues will be here before they should be. Sues," he explained, "do not follow the laws of reason or physics and they should not be underestimated."

Faramir muttered under his breath about pink flying horses but if Aragorn, Arwen, Gimli, or Legolas heard him they chose either to ignore him or simply not to believe him.

This was good for them. It was best if they knew as little as possible how the Sues minds worked.

"So what do you have in mind to stop them?" Legolas asked the three Mary Sue hunters. The three of them looked at each other and I couldn't help but think that Legolas, Faramir, and Aragorn would not like the plan.

-- 

They did not like the plan.

"We are to act as bait?" Aragorn asked.

"How will this protect us?" Legolas added raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms looking slightly defensive.

"We have to lure them out," Joanne explained simply. Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir, Nicole, Joanne, Mitch, and I were walking just outside the city so that the three experts could decide where would be best to set the trap for the Sues. "When they attack Aragorn, Legolas, and Faramir then Nicole, Mitch, and I will spring out and attack them."

"You are welcome to join us if you wish Gimli," Nicole offered.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything," the dwarf assured her, "this sounds as if it could really be enjoyable."

"For you maybe," I thought I heard Legolas mutter.

"I still have trouble believing that these Mary Sues are as bad as you all say them to be," Aragorn commented.

"Trust me," Faramir told him, "this is truly a thing that you must see to believe."

"I wish I hadn't," I muttered, "I will never trust a blond again."

"Excuse me?" Legolas said looking slightly insulted.

"I'll never trust a blond wearing insane amounts of makeup and who uses the word 'like' more then three times per sentence," I amended. Legolas and Aragorn exchanged worried looks.

"So far I am almost troubled based on what I have heard about these Mary Sues," Legolas admitted to us, "they seem to be the foulest creatures since the Uruk-Hai."

"They are fouler even then that," Faramir assured them.

"This will teach me to take trips with elvish princes," Gimli sighed. Then the dwarf looked over at me, it was the first time that any of them had remembered I was there. "You are not to fight the Mary Sues?" I felt myself go pale at the thought and wished that they were still ignoring me.

"Amy can also fight them if she wants to," Nicole said. I was pretty sure she was just doing it to get back at me for bumping into her and ruining her original plan to catch the Sues.

"I'm only here by accident," I protested quickly, "I can't even use a weapon."

"There are plenty here who would teach you," Mitch said innocently The evil grin on his face contradicted his innocent tone.

"I'll give you a lesson when we get back into the city," Faramir offered, his grin almost as evil as Mitch's had been, "since I owe you for trying to rescue Eomer and myself."

"That sounds like fun," I lied through gritted teeth.

"Don't even think of trying to get out of this," Joanne muttered to me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter #5:**

Let me tell you something, learning to use a weapon is not fun. I'll repeat that, **not** **fun**. Especially when you have not one teacher, but eight. Well to be honest Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch were only there because they thought it was funny to watch me struggle.

It all started when I was woken up by a knocking on my door at the crack of dawn. Literally the sun wasn't even up when I was rudely dragged from my blissful sleep. I groaned and opened the door to find a grinning Faramir, Legolas, and Gimli. They were clearly morning people.

There ought to be a law against that. I'd have to remember to mention it to Aragorn next time I had a chance. Hopefully he could outlaw morning people or something using his nifty king-person powers.

"Go away," I moaned. Then I tried to close the door but Legolas moved too fast with his damn elvish reflexes. Then the three of them were dragging me against my will with a horrible cheerfulness down to the practice yards so that they could figure out what weapon I should learn.

Before long Aragorn and Arwen had joined them, shortly followed by Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch.

A few hours later Legolas was trying to teach me the bow and arrow. I pulled the arrow back, imitating how the elf had showed me, and the arrow fell to the ground. I heard a mixture of laughter and exasperated sighing. I displayed my feelings my throwing the bow angrily.

"So the bow and arrow isn't your weapon," Mitch chuckled as he tried to cheer me up.

"You couldn't even lift the axe," Nicole added. Unlike Mitch she was not trying to make me feel any better.

"Not to mention that you got your sword stuck in that fence," Faramir concluded nicely summarizing my embarrassing morning.

"I'm sure that we can find something you are good at," Gimli muttered looking thoughtfully over at the pile of weapons that they'd brought to let me try.

"Perhaps," this time it was Arwen's amused voice speaking up, "she should try these." I turned and saw that Arwen was offering me a pair of short thin swords. These weapons were easy to lift and not as complicated as the bow and arrow to use. Not that they were easy to learn but the basic concept was much easier for me to grasp. "Men," Arwen said to me conspiratorially with a playful grin, "are forever looking for the weapons that are heavy and good for smashing. Weapons don't have to be hard to lift to be effective."

"I beg your pardon," Legolas said holding up his bow and arrow.

"My apologies," Arwen said with a light chuckle, "you are the one exception."

"Okay," I interrupted, "we've picked a weapon for me so I'm going to head back in to eat and then go back to sleep."

"Oh no," Faramir said with a laugh, "you aren't close to being done here."

"We have not even started your training," Gimli told me.

"I'm going to die," I asked the group as a whole, "aren't I?"

"It's always possible," Nicole told me.

Two hours later I dragged myself over to a table that was filled with food. I stared at the food and wondered if it was worth the effort to move in order to eat. I was hungry but at the moment I was more tired then hungry.

It may have been the first time ever that hunger had been overshadowed in my life.

"You know you didn't look that bad out there," Mitch told me as he snatched some food from the table and sat down, chewing noisily. I groaned, unable to put words together to make a response. Finally I reached over and took some food and chewed slowly. I noticed that Mitch was now had an axe strapped to his belt.

"Do I have to go with you guys?" I asked in the sort of whining voice I would use to get out of a family dinner.

"Oh come on," Mitch chuckled, "it'll be fun!" I rolled my eyes and muttered something about reckless suicidal behavior. Mitch just chuckled. "Just be sure not to say anything about our world to anyone, it's against the rules." Mitch stood up and stretched. "We spring the trap for the Sues in four hours so be ready to go."

-- 

It had been five days since we'd arrived and there was still no sign of the Mary Sues. All in all it was getting a little boring. We kept attempting to lure them into our trap anyway, figuring that maybe they'd gotten lost. They were Mary Sues after all, reading a map might have overloaded their brains.

Once again we were in our positions just outside of the city.

"I hope this works," Arwen whispered softly to me, "I admit that I am concerned as we have not seen these Mary Sues yet."

The two of us were hiding behind a wall near where Aragorn, Legolas, and Faramir were standing conspicuously in the open making small talk. Across from us I could see Gimli and Joanne. I knew that Mitch and Nicole were someplace close by but I couldn't see them.

"No worries my lady," Joanne whispered just loud enough to carry to Arwen, Gimli, and I, "there are only three of them. We have the six of us plus Aragorn, Legolas, and Faramir." We were silent as we waited for something to happen. Finally we heard Legolas say something.

"**Aragorn**," he said in a loud voice so that everyone could hear him clearly, "do you see those three "beautiful" blond "women" heading this way?" I could hear the pain in his voice at calling them beautiful and women.

"I do **Legolas**," Aragorn answered loudly, stressing the elf's name so that the Sues would be sure they were in the right place. I could just make out the sound of giggling in the distance. The four of us readied our weapons and tensed waiting for the signal from Aragorn and Legolas.

"Good afternoon ladies," Legolas said. This was the signal and I took a deep breath. We all sprung out of our hiding spots and charged at the Mary Sues. Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn looked shocked to see us. They all had swords and seemed to know how to use them.

"Damn Sues," I heard Joanne curse as we all rushed at them.

But we did have them outnumbered and things were going great. Caitlyn had been captured and Nicole and Gimli were holding her still. I hadn't really done anything except that I was standing between Aragorn, Legolas, and Faramir, and the Mary Sues. Asking them to act as bait was bad enough so they were simply watching the fight unless things got bad.

Besides we really didn't need them, Arwen, Gimli, Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch were handling the three Sues all right. Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir, and I moved closer to Nicole and Gimli who were holding a struggling Caitlyn between them. We watched as Joanne and Arwen double teamed Marley whose _perfect_ face had a look of _perfect_ terror on it.

"This is what you get for plotting to steal my husband," I thought I heard Arwen growl. Arwen really did look very scary. Gimli looked as if he was having fun, and Nicole looked calm but with rage waiting just below the surface to be released.

"I thought you said that there were only three Mary Sues," Gimli remarked suddenly twirling his axe nervously. He was looking at something behind me with a horrified expression on his face. As I realized what he had said I felt the bottom of my stomach drop out.

Slowly, dreading what I was guessing I was about to see, I looked in the direction where Gimli was gazing.

"There must be a hundred of them," Legolas observed as he stared at the army of Mary Sues marching towards us. I heard Aragorn mutter a curse that, under less stressful circumstances, I would have taken the time to be very impressed by. Faramir had begun twitching and his eyes were wide. Now I was betting that he wished Eomer had come to bring Aragorn news of the Sues.

"We're screwed right?" I asked Nicole, managing to talk despite the fact that my mind had gone blissfully blank at the sight of all that pink.

"Pretty much," she answered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter #6:**

I was laying on a stone ground. I couldn't really remember what had happened but based on the fact that my last memory consisted of an army of Mary Sues I was guessing that nothing good had happened.

This was quickly confirmed by the sound of brainless giggling coming from somewhere fairly close.

I opened my eyes to find that I was locked in a cell rather like the one that I had helped Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn build. Except that it wasn't, because it was built better. There was a stone wall on either side and behind me but in front of me were just bars. I sat up and saw that Mitch was sitting in a cell opposite me.

"Good morning," he greeted me with a sort of fake cheerfulness. At least I was hoping that the cheerfulness was being faked. If it wasn't fake then he was an absolute nutter.

"Where are we?" I groaned.

"Haven't a clue," Nicole told me from somewhere to my immediate left.

"Who else is here?" I asked.

"Joanne is over here," Joanne told me. Her voice was coming from somewhere to the left of Mitch, across from Nicole's cell.

"Legolas is across from me," Gimli said from my immediate right. "And Faramir is to my right."

"I can't believe I've been captured my these horrid vapid drones again," said man muttered sounding horrified.

"I'm over here facing Faramir," Aragorn told me, "Arwen managed to get away."

"Lucky for her," Nicole muttered vaguely from her cell. She sounded defeated and it scared me to hear her voice like that.

"She's just sore because Caitlyn wants to kill her and Gimli now," Joanne explained sounding bored. I was thinking that this might be good for me. Maybe she'd have forgotten about wanting to kill me. "Then she's going to kill you," Joanne added crushing my dreams for a long life.

"I could have been dying of boredom in Chemistry class," I said to no one in particular, "but no. Instead I'm in Middle Earth dying at the end of some dumb Mary Sue's sword. And by that I mean the Mary Sue is dumb, not the sword. I know that weapons are not alive and thus can not be considered smart or dumb. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, **my imminent death**. Sure death by Chemistry is agonizing but it'll give me longer to live then death by vengeful sword. I mean there is nothing-"

"You are rambling," Aragorn said flatly sounding slightly stressed out, "stop the rambling."

"Okay. No problem. The rambling is stopping," I told him nodding vigorously forgetting that he couldn't see me, "right now. No more rambling from me, none at all. I will cease and desist with the rambling without any further ado-"

"**Just**… **stop**… **talking**," the King of Gondor said in a deadly voice.

We all sat in silence for the next few minutes. I was afraid to say anything because I could still hear Aragorn breathing hard and I was scared that if I spoke again he would smash through the walls and then smash my head in. Mitch, the only person I could see, was shaking with silent laughter. It was Joanne who broke the silence after what felt like hours.

"I want to go on the record of saying that this is all Nicole's fault," she said into the silence in a casual voice. "It's not important, I just want people to know that it's all her fault." I sucked in some air sharply and wondered if Joanne hadn't heard how Nicole had sounded earlier. Finally Nicole spoke.

"You've said that before," she told her. But her voice didn't sound hopeless anymore, just determined. "Just give me a minute to get us out of here. I'll think of something…"

"Does anyone else have centipedes all over their cell?" Faramir asked. I looked down and suppressed a squeal as I noticed about five centipedes crawling around on the floor of my cell. A few other people muttered affirmative answers and I heard Nicole laugh.

"Have you lost your mind?" Gimli asked sounding, (oddly enough), genuinely curious.

"Everybody gather all of the insects you can," she said just soft enough for us all to hear her, "use whatever you can. Maybe your shoes or a pouch with coins in it. Just get them and when the Sues open your cell doors throw the bugs on them." Mitch smirked and I watched as he removed his shoe and began to pick up the insects from the ground of his cell.

"Eww eww eww," I moaned quietly as I closed my eyes and grabbed for the bug closest to me. I missed the first few time but finally I picked it up and was so shocked and disgusted that I dropped it again. After several more tries I had the first one inside of my shoe. Then I moved onto the second one. Finally I had seven centipedes inside my shoe and ready to be hurled at a Sue.

"Oh of all the rotten luck," Legolas grumbled, "there are hardly any in my cell."

"There must be a million ants in here," Mitch said digging at the corner of his cell and shoveling them into his shoe.

"Lucky you," Joanne said, "there are a few ants in here but not enough to make a difference."

"Try to get them in the Sues' hair," Nicole advised as we heard the giggling, (which reminded me of nails on a chalkboard), coming closer. A second later Marley, Tara, Caitlyn, and two Sues I didn't know flounced in.

"Like okay now we're going to kill all of you who are like not fit to be in love with us," Tara said flipping her hair back with a roll of her head. I wished that she would roll her head too hard and hit a wall and die but there was no such luck. I know it was a weird thought, but these were weird times.

Marley came to undo the lock holding my cell door closed. Caitlyn had gone to my right and I guessed that she was getting Gimli. The two Sues that I didn't know were walking towards where Nicole and Joanne were.

Marley had just opened my cell when I heard a scream coming from either of the new Sues. Springing forward I shook the shoe at Marley's head. Just about half of the insects hit her but it did the job. Marley let out a scream and I almost had to cover my ears to protect my eardrums from the high pitched assault.

But I didn't have time, instead I launched myself at her and tackled her to the ground, ripping out all the hair I could reach. She kicked and screamed again but my anger outdid hers and I held on and all her kicks did were to cause me to rip out more chunks of her perfect blond hair.

Tara, however, had been forgotten. I didn't remember her until I felt a cold blade touch the back of my neck.

"Like get off of her bitch," she commanded in a whiney tone and I stood up slowly looking around to see if someone could help me. I could see that Nicole was busy beating the crap out of her Sue and Joanne was force feeding a centipede to hers. Gimli was trying to open Legolas' cell door while Caitlyn lay twitching on the ground, mostly unconscious. Apparently she couldn't handle insects in her hair and being crushed by a very strong, not to mention a very angry dwarf.

I thought it was all over for me but I had overlooked Mitch and his millions of ants. Though he was still locked in his cell he threw the shoe at Tara.

It hit her in the back of the head and ants spilled out and began crawling around her head. Mitch had not been exaggerating about their numbers. I dodged her sword as she jerked it violently. Legolas, who had been freed by Gimli, came up and pulled her away from me and calmly smashed her head against the wall. Tara sunk to the ground and Mitch looked over at her amused.

"Pretty violent there," he commented to Legolas.

"They are the most annoying creatures I have ever come across," the elf said simply. "One of them called me 'Leg-Leg' and their giggling is painful to hear. They have made me loose my temper."

"Remind me not to piss you off," Joanne said as she came over. Aragorn, also freed by Gimli, came over. Gimli was now working on opening Faramir's cell.

"Somebody get me out of here!" Mitch called and with a sigh Joanne went to work on his cell door.

"And also remind me to make fun of you for being 'fit to be in love' with the Sues," Joanne said to Mitch who stuck his tongue out at her. "If you're not nice I won't let you out," she warned him. Mitch rolled his eyes but stopped making faces.

"We'd better move," Nicole said, "if you see any weapons grab them. Remember there's a whole army here. Who wants one of the weapons these five had?" Gimli, Legolas, Faramir, and Joanne rushed to raise their hands and Nicole handed the weapons to them. "Do you want one Aragorn?" she asked holding out the last sword. The King of Gondor shook his head holding up his shoe.

"I didn't get to throw my insects on them," he explained. Faramir rolled his eyes.

"You can have mine too," he offered holding the shoe over to Aragorn who took it happily.

"Okay Gimli and I are going first," Nicole told us, "everyone else with weapons in the rear and those without stay in the middle unless we come under attack. Then get out of the way and look for a weapon."

"Why can't I be at the front?" Legolas asked.

"Because you're too pretty," Nicole explained, "one look at you and they'll do absolutely anything to get at you. Better you hang back out of immediate sight." Legolas sighed a martyr's sigh while Aragorn laughed at him. "Let's go."

After a little bit we found Aragorn, Faramir, and Legolas' weapons sitting on a table. No sign of the rest of our weapons. Legolas and Faramir gave the weapons they'd gotten from the Mary Sues from the jail cells to Joanne and Mitch. Aragorn sheathed his sword but kept the shoes full of insects ready to throw at any Sues we should meet. Legolas was nice enough to lend me the knives he'd had with him. So with all of us armed we set off again.

"Which way should we go?" Gimli asked as we came to two doors, one on the right and one on the left.

"Right," Faramir suggested. Nicole opened the door and we came face to face with no less then fifty Mary Sues.

"Not good," I cried. Legolas said something in elvish that was undoubtedly some sort of prayer, or maybe more likely a curse.

"We're doomed," Faramir moaned.

"Retreat," Nicole ordered slamming the door shut and no one needed being told twice. We could hear the rumble of the Sues coming at the door.

"Left this time," Faramir yelled and Mitch wrenched the door open and we all piled in to find that, while this door went to a way out, the way out was blocked by the rest of the Sues. With fifty on one side and fifty on the other it really seemed as if there would be no way out.

"Who else thinks we're going to die now?" Joanne asked raising her hand. I joined Faramir, Legolas, and Nicole in raising my hand. Only Aragorn, Gimli, and Mitch shook their heads and said no.

"I'm sorry about this," Nicole said giving her sword a twirl and cracking her neck as she readied for the fight.

"You know I wasn't serious about saying it was your fault, right?" Joanne asked looking worried.

"I know," Nicole answered, "I'm sorry all the same."

"Oh will you two stop acting all dramatic and tragic?" Mitch exclaimed looking annoyed. "We're going to get through this."

"Lad's right," Gimli agreed, "even if all I have is the flimsy sword I still think we're going to defeat these vapid drones."

"I hope you're right, " Legolas muttered as he fit an arrow to his bow.

I realized that I didn't want to die. Not a big surprise but it hit me in a wave how seriously I did not want to die. Half of me was screaming, "Run for your life you idiot!" but I couldn't. I couldn't run and leave these people who I had only just met. Usually it took longer for me to feel this close to a group of people. I supposed it came from facing the Mary Sues, things like that tended to bring people together fast.

So instead of running I gripped my borrowed weapons tighter.

"Here we go," I muttered. A second later the Sues started at us.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you so much to those who reviewed the last chapter! It means a lot to me._

_So we're getting close to the end of the story. I know, it wasn't very long. But, there are other stories. I'd like to know if people are interested in hearing the next story, (which is basically a Part Two). Anyway, please let me know. Whether there will be a Part Two or not there will be one more chapter._

**Chapter #7:**

The army of Mary Sues had barely taken a step towards us when we heard a chorus of war cries. A second later the door that about fifty Mary Sues were blocking so that we couldn't get away burst open.

Soldiers from Gondor and Rohan led by Arwen, Eowyn, and Eomer poured into the room and mass chaos ensued.

I was in a state of shock and when the first Mary Sue to reach me thrust their sword at me I almost didn't react fast enough. At the last second I comprehended the danger and stepped back and waved one of the knives wildly to deflect the attack. I managed to, but barely and the Sue came again swinging at my shoulder.

This time I managed to catch her sword with both of my blades and then I stepped into her, pushing the one blade and not stopping until the Mary Sue fell to the ground, bleeding.

But there was no time to stop and contemplate this first victory as there were two more Sues all ready to take the place of the Sue I had just killed. I ducked one of their swords and managed to tackle the second, slicing at her as I went. The other Mary Sue attacked again and I rolled out of the way of the attack. Gimli came out of nowhere and sliced the Mary Sue in half, swinging his sword like a baseball bat.

"Thanks," I said gratefully as I pulled myself to my feet.

"Just stay close," he advised cheerfully as he turned to find another Sue to kill.

At this point a group of soldiers from Rohan being led by Eomer came up to us. Unfortunately a few confused soldiers looked like they were about to attack me.

"I'm not a Sue," I cried, "see, no blond hair!"

"She's with us," Eomer told them. A few shook their heads, unable to believe the madness that was happening, but then they shrugged it off and contently went back to hacking the Mary Sues apart.

What seemed like a minute later it was all over and we were all still alive with only a few minor injuries.

Nicole had gotten a nasty scratch across the face, (whether it had been made by a blade or by one of the Mary Sue's sharpened nails she couldn't be sure), Faramir was limping from where a Mary Sue had tackled him when she'd seen him hugging Eowyn during the battle. Aragorn claimed that one of the Sues had permanently damaged his hearing when he tossed the insects he'd carried around on her. Also several of the men seemed to have had their eyesight damaged by the amount of pink they'd been subjected to during the fight. But other then that our side had come through unscathed.

"Guess I was wrong about all of us dying horrible deaths at the hands of the Sues," Nicole commented offhandedly as she mopped the small trail of blood off of her face. She was smiling widely however and I couldn't help but to smile back. Being alive and unharmed could really cheer a person up.

"I always knew that we would get through it and that you would come and save us," Faramir told Eowyn giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

"Liar," Aragorn said with a laugh. He had his arm around his wife and was grinning widely. "I was the one who thought we would survive."

"Oh," Gimli chuckled, "you were 'the one' to think we would survive? You forget that Mitch and I also thought that we would get through."

"Things are going to be dull after this," I confided to Nicole. She laughed.

"I know a way that we could change that," she told me thoughtfully.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" I asked.

"I'm sure it's just your over-active imagination," Nicole told me in a falsely innocent voice. The bad feeling only grew.


	8. Chapter 8

**Epilogue:**

It was two months after my trip to Middle Earth. I was at Joanne's house celebrating Nicole's promotion within Section 3.5. While Joanne and Mitch were still working as Agents who hunted down Mary Sues regularly, Nicole had been promoted to a high prestige management job.

Nicole was now in charge of things like assignments and keeping the Section running smoothly. She kept complaining that it would bore her to death but Joanne, (who was now technically working for Nicole), argued that she would enjoy bossing people around.

Nicole wasn't the only one whose life had changed. Finding out about the existence of other Dimensions had changed my own life in several ways. For one it had made me paranoid. For another it had gotten me a job. Well, actually Nicole had gotten me the job.

She had gotten me a part-time job working with another group, called Section 5, whose job it was to keep the people who didn't know about the existence of other Dimensions from finding out. As I had once been one of them I worked as an expert who they could consult. The times were flexible and it was certainly not boring. It also kept me in touch with Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch.

"I saw your old classmates earlier today," Nicole told me as I filled up my plate with food from the buffet.

The other "friends" from the trip, Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn, (along with the rest of the surviving Sues we'd faced), had been thrown into a prison. I hadn't visited and I doubted that I would.

"Everything's gray and brown in there, they shaved the Sues head's bald, plus they force them to use good grammar," Nicole had explained to me with a chuckle soon after we had gotten back from Middle Earth, "for a normal human it would be depressing but for a Sue, it's a living nightmare."

"I admit I'm sort of glad that they didn't die," I said honestly, "I feel guilty enough at school without having their deaths on my conscience. Even though they did try to kill me." I paused for a second and then shrugged before continuing. "I've never had people try to kill me before."

"You get used to it," Mitch informed me stealing a few shrimp from my plate.

"Oh get your own plate," Joanne admonished him. Then she grabbed the shrimp out of his hand and popped one into her mouth.

"Get your own stolen food," he muttered. The he turned to me. "Did you get the permission slip to visit Middle Earth I sent you?" I nodded. The forms were still on my desk, unfilled out.

"I'm not sure I want to visit yet," I confessed. Joanne and Mitch looked startled though Nicole nodded her understanding. "It doesn't mean I don't want to, or that I don't miss the friends I made there. But…"

"Visiting as a tourist would make it seem more real then you're ready for," Nicole finished for me.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I mean this is all so new to me. Plus there's the fact that I almost died there. I can still read the books or even watch the movies and all without threat of being killed by Mary Sues."

One day I would visit, probably. At the moment however I was content with my memories. That and the small sword that I had been given as a gift of thanks for my small part in everything. Not that I wanted to do anything like that ever again. Once was enough for me. I told this to Nicole, Joanne, and Mitch.

"Things don't always work out the way you want them to," Nicole pointed out with a grin.

"You've got that right," Mitch chuckled to Nicole.

"And especially now that you're working here," Joanne added, "I mean even our janitors have found themselves in some kind of situation or another. It's just the way things are around here." Still laughing the three of them headed off to find someplace to sit. My mouth had dropped open in horror, they couldn't be serious.

"Take it back," I shouted after them. This was met by even more laughter. "Nobody told me this when I signed up," I pouted following them.

"Opps," Nicole replied in a falsely apologetic voice.

_**Author's Note:**_

_So I'm still not sure whether or not I'm going to post Part Two, since only one reviewer told me what they thought. I'll probably take a week either way and I'll post it as part of this story so you'll know if I'm on your Author Alerts._

_Anyway thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed this story. I'm really glad that people enjoyed this. I had fun writing it, and I hope you all had fun reading it!_


	9. Part 2: Chapter 1

**Part Two**

_A Sue's Revenge _

**Author's Note:**

Well this is Part Two. It's been about a year since the last chapter, just so you know. Thank you for reading, please review and let me know what you think!

**Chapter #1:**

Just like my previous adventure, (the one where I had first discovered that other dimensions and Mary Sues existed), I was in a state of boredom when my second adventure started.

I was sitting in the front row of a small audience. Up on the platform my good friend Joanne, (an Agent in Section 3.5), was sitting in front of a microphone, answering questions about a mission she'd been involved in that was under suspicion for reckless behavior.

"… and so, as I've mentioned, there was no other choice. If I hadn't done what I did people would have been killed by the Mary Sues, or worse. My point is that when the Sues bring out weapons from our world we shouldn't hesitate fighting fire with fire. Or in this case, bazookas with bazookas." I could tell that Joanne really wanted to laugh, (or at the very least smirk), at the joke she'd made but she kept her face serious.

"Of course," one Relations Facilitator agreed, "you did seem to have a good cause but it seems, to me at least, that there was an attempt at some sort of cover up. It begs the question, are there more incidents like this that have been covered up? As well as the comment that sleeping with the Head of your Section doesn't mean that your mistakes should be hidden." Joanne's eyes narrowed, and the Head of Section 3.5, standing off to the side stiffened.

"That is an outlandish suggestion," Joanne snapped leaning forward threateningly, "and it is not simply insulting to me but to my boss. I do not have any number of illicit cover ups lurking in my past and I am not having an affair with my boss."

About an hour later I was sitting in my office typing up a report for my own boss, the Head of Section 5. Joanne was lounging in there too, still basking in her triumph.

"Not guilty," she crowed for the hundredth time, "we should celebrate!"

"I wish," I sighed, "but I have to finish this report. Then I'm going home, remember, I'm still in school. I have a life."

"You only wish you had a life," Joanne smirked. I decided to ignore the comment, half to demonstrate that I was the bigger person and half because I couldn't think of a comeback.

"That Relations Facilitator was really pretty vicious," I commented changing the subject.

"She's a jerk," Joanne replied making a face, "all RFs are jerks. It's part of the job description. You know, maintain peace between the Sections and expose all the dirty secrets that you can." Just then the door opened and the Head of Section 3.5, William Scott, came in.

"Good job on answering those questions," he told her, "I especially enjoyed your answer to the question concerning our relationship."

"I was just telling the truth," Joanne told him, "We're not having an affair." Then she stepped up and kissed him deeply. "We're having a secret affair," she whispered.

"Joanne," William protested looking over at me.

"Don't worry about Amy," she assured him, "she knows and she won't tell on us."

"Yeah," I said while rolling my eyes, "I'm writing a report about the hearing, not the after show taking place in my office." Joanne and William chuckled and kissed again.

"Your bosses don't know what they're missing," Joanne commented. Then she turned to me. "Well listen I'll see you tomorrow. Good luck on your report. We are going to go out and have some fun."

"Have a good time," I called as they left. Then I sighed and went back to work on the report.

--

Simon had been a Mary Sue hunter for a long time and this wasn't the first time that he'd worked with Section 3.5 to bring in a Sue. He'd been gathering information on this particular Sue, Anthea Ysanne, for a month and this was the day that he was going to make his move and arrest her. Simon was waiting in her mansion, hiding from her bewitched servants. Simon made a face at the thought of them, he hated Sue Servants with a passion.

Finally the door opened and Anthea Ysanne, (the Sue he was waiting to capture), came in. She was not alone though, there was another figure. The other woman pulled their hood, which had protected them from the pouring rain outside, off revealing a perfect face with huge raspberry colored eyes, and flowing blond hair, which didn't have a knot despite the bad weather conditions.

Another Mary Sue.

"I'm like totally hyped about like living in this place," she giggled to the Anthea Ysanne, "so like I'll send my things here and bring them over here tomorrow." She paused before adding, as an after thought, "And like is it 'kay with you if I like bring two prisoners?"

Simon's ears perked as he heard this. The new Sue had prisoners? Mary Sues only usually captured males they considered hot or people who they considered to be in their way. If it were men the Sue had she would have put her spell over them and refer to them as her lovers.

If it was someone in her way she would have killed them and be done with it.

"Like totally!" Anthea Ysanne, the Sue Simon was after squealed, "are they like hawt?" The Sue with raspberry eyes rolled her eyes.

"Like the man is kind of hawt but he's like under some spell and won't fall in love with me. The other is like a little girl. She's like totally under a spell too, she refuses to like me at all."

"Maybe I can like help you break the spell!"

"Like Omg that would be like totally awesome," the Raspberry eyed Sue exclaimed, "like anyway I got to go. I'll see you tomorrow! Hugs and kisses!" And with that she started to leave.

Intrigued Simon considered going to try to find these people but instead he stayed put and followed through with his mission to capture Anthea Ysanne, leaving the new Mary Sue who had prisoners for someone else to go after if Section 3.5 found his report on her interesting.

--

It was only seven o'clock the next morning when the phone issued by my job rang. I groaned, this was not how I liked to start my weekends.

"Hello?" I said groggily as I picked the phone up.

"Subject Expert Amy Masters of Section 5?" the female voice on the other end asked. I had never heard their voice before. Usually I knew who was calling me on that particular line.

"That's me," I answered after a beat, "who, may I ask, is this?"

"I'm Agent Kip," the woman said stiffly, "I work within Section 1." I knew that Section 1 was responsible for tracking down fugitives who traveled through dimensions in order to escape justice. "We would like to bring you in and ask you some questions."

--

"My lord," Aragorn looked down on the two young men addressing him, "I apologize if this seems odd but we felt we should report to you…"

"Exactly what is it you have seen?" Aragorn asked. The second man spoke up.

"We were traveling past the old fortress half a days ride from here, and saw something odd." Aragorn and Arwen exchanged glances. The old fortress described was the same one that the Mary Sue army had used as their stronghold.

"What is it you saw?" Arwen asked.

"There were people moving into it. And a woman was ordering them where to go and what to do. She had blond hair, and wore pink. Also, it was the strangest thing, she had raspberry colored eyes."

"Eru help us," Aragorn breathed, "a Mary Sue."


	10. Part 2: Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**_

_I hope that everyone is enjoying this second part. If you haven't realized yet this story will be all about Nicole and her past. Ideally I'd like to go through stories that focus on her, Joanne, and Mitch's histories, but I don't know how far I'll get._

**Chapter #2:**

Two unsmiling escorts had picked me up from my house and brought me to a building I'd never been to before, I was guessing it was Section 1 headquarters. Then I was brought into a small room and told to wait. It felt as if hours had gone by before somebody finally came in to join me.

"Are you going to tell me what this is about?" I asked the short woman wearing all black and a frown that looked frozen in place who had just come in. She sat down across from me.

"My name is Agent Kip," she told me, "we spoke on the phone earlier."

"That's not an answer to my question," I sulked. She was not amused.

"And you shouldn't expect one, I'll be asking the questions here today. You are acquainted with a Nicole Rakov, an Office Director for Section 3.5?" This interview was about Nicole? Why would they be questioning me about Nicole? Kip had caught me off guard and she knew it.

"Yes," I told her after a beat, "of course I am."

"You consider yourself to be friends with Office Director Rakov?"

"We're good friends," I informed the agent bristling. I definitely did not like her tone. "Has something happened to Nicole?" Once again the emotionless agent didn't answer my question.

"Did she tell you where she was planning on going last night or today?"

"No," I answered honestly, definitely worried about Nicole, "what happened?" For a minute I was sure that the agent would once again refuse to answer my question but then to my surprise she did.

"Office Director Rakov forced her way into Section 3.5's prison where the Mary Sues are held," Agent Kip told me coldly, "she broke a Mary Sue out of the prison and the two of them are now fugitives from the PODB." I stared at her in shock, unable to believe what she was telling me.

"That can't be true," I finally managed to say, "it just can't be. Nicole hates Mary Sues. She would never break one out of prison, and she would not go against the Protectors Of Dimensional Balance. There must be some sort of mistake!"

"Subject Expert Masters," Kip thundered seeming to be suddenly taller, "do not tell me that we've made a mistake. We have eye witness accounts that your friend has gone rogue and intends to work against this agency."

The questions continued but I didn't have any answers that could help. I told Agent Kip how I met Nicole, the last time I'd spoken to her, and that I hadn't noticed any changes in her behavior whatsoever. I could tell that the Section 1 Agent was not happy with me but she finally told me I was free to go. As soon as I was out of the building I called Mitch.

"Hey," I said as soon as he answered, "it's me. Have you-"

"Gotten dragged in for questioning about Nicole?" he asked, finishing my sentence. "Yeah. How about I pick you up from there, I'm waiting a few blocks away. We're going to meet Joanne for lunch. We have to talk about this, and not over the phone."

I nodded, though Mitch couldn't see me and hung up the phone, feeling a slight shiver run down my spine. My friend was in danger, and the threat was coming from the good guys.

An hour later the three of us were sitting at an outdoor café in a nice normal town. Populated by nice normal people. I envied the people there, I really did. Our orders had been taken and our drinks had arrived. It was Joanne who spoke first.

"We can't let Section 1 get to Nicole," she said, looking genuinely serious for maybe the first time ever, "they do not treat members of any Section who are perceived as going against the PODB fairly."

"That Agent Kip sure seems pretty tough," I mentioned. I was hoping that Joanne and Mitch would tell me that she wasn't as bad as she'd seemed but they just exchanged worried looks.

"She's worse then tough," Mitch told me, "she thinks Nicole did this and so she won't be afraid to do whatever it takes to bring her in. And she's good at her job, she has a gift for finding people even when they don't want to be found."

"I don't think that we can deny that Nicole did this," Joanne said suddenly. Mitch stared at her in surprise and I choked on my iced tea in shock.

"You can't be serious," Mitch argued fiercely, "Nicole hates Sues, I've seen her dealing with them and it's as if she has a personal grudge against them." Joanne looked around, probably worried someone might hear.

"That's because she does," she told us frankly in a low voice, "Nicole's had a personal grudge against Mary Sues ever since one of them ruined her life."

-- 

Nicole stood, facing the Mary Sue whom she'd tied to a chair. Her green eyes were narrowed with dislike as the Sue looked back at her sulkily with one vibrant turquoise eye and one neon green eye.

"So," Nicole said in an emotionless voice, "you are Anthea Ysanne?"

"And like I'm the Princess of the Land of Moonbeams," the Sue added haughtily. Nicole sighed looking almost bored.

"There is no such land and if you speak of it again you will regret it." Sues are dumb but even a Mary Sue can tell when to shut up. Anthea Ysanne looked, (if it were possible), even more sulky. "Now Sue," Nicole said in a business like voice, "I want to know about the Sue who was planning on coming to stay in your house with you, the one with Raspberry eyes." Nicole leaned close, staring into the Sue's eyes. "I want to know everything."

"Like no way am I telling you anything," Anthea Ysanne exclaimed, "you're like nothing but a big fat meany pants!"

"How very horrible for me, but I have a feeling you'll change your answer." Nicole had been speaking calmly, but all of the sudden her face darkened. Her next words were spoken with a real snarl. "I want to know where the Mary Sue Crysthanie Gemtha is."


	11. Part 2: Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_

_I'm sorry for the delay, I spent all last week studying for and taking finals. I'm hoping that I won't take a break like that again, then again it seems that these things come up too often._

_So just to warn you, this chapter gets a little weird. I hope that you will all bear with me and not give up on this story. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed!_

**Chapter #3:**

"A Sue ruined Nicole's life?" I asked Joanne. "Is that why she works at Section 3.5?"

"I'd rather know what the Sue did," Mitch grumbled.

"Well I'll tell you two everything if you just let me tell the story," Joanne said, "but not here. We need to go someplace where we won't be overheard."

--

"I'm glad that you could all come," Aragorn said to the gathered group. Sitting at the table with him were Arwen, Legolas, Gimli, Eowyn, Faramir, and Eomer. They all looked concerned.

"Aragorn why have you asked us all to come?" Eomer asked.

"Does it have to do with the Mary Sues?" Gimli asked curiously.

At the word '_Mary Sues'_ Legolas, Faramir, and Eomer twitched violently and Eowyn growled stepping closer to her husband and her brother, obviously prepared to fight off any creature intent on getting them.

"Gimli," Arwen asked looking shocked, "how did you know this?" The dwarf sighed loudly.

"I knew because I am not an idiot Madame," the dwarf pointed out dryly. "Also since we have arrived in Minas Tirith those of us who the Sues went after before have been followed closely by personal guards while myself and the ladies have had no such protection. I know of no other threat that would entail such precautions other then the Mary Sues."

"Gimli is correct," Aragorn admitted unwillingly, "a Mary Sue was spotted in Middle Earth again." This proclamation was met by loud groans and oaths being spoken in several languages by the assembled people.

"Are you sure about this Aragorn?" Legolas asked, obviously hoping in vain that maybe there had been some mistake. The King and Queen of Gondor however merely shook their heads.

"She has blond hair," Arwen told them.

"So do I," Legolas reminded him.

"And raspberry colored eyes."

"Oh…"

--

Joanne, Mitch, and I were soon walking on a dock, the wind and the sound of the waves keeping our conversation from carrying. At least that's what Joanne and Mitch assured me about the location. I really thought that they were acting a little paranoid. There were only a few people around anyway and Joanne started to tell us about Nicole's past.

"Do you know how old Nicole is?" Mitch and I shook our heads and Joanne looked at us seriously. "Nicole will turn 428 in a few months." She said it with a straight face, and my laughter died in my throat.

"But she looks-"

"Young," Joanne finished, "that would be because she's a demon from another dimension." Of all of the explanations that I'd expected Joanne to give, that one hadn't even been on the list. There was a strange ringing in my ears. "Mitch please catch Amy," I heard Joanne say calmly, "she's fainting."

"I am not," I muttered vaguely as I sat down hard on a bench. "But I think you're lying. Nicole's not, well… evil."

"Not all demons are evil," Joanne explained with a sort of forced patience, "it's just an unfortunate association that people tend to make based on the inclinations of the majority of demons. There are a number of demons, like Nicole, who don't devote their life to spreading evil."

"Nicole also doesn't shoot fire balls or have glowing red eyes," I argued still not willingly to accept Joanne's explanation. Mitch snorted with laughter as Joanne glared at me.

"Demons do **not** shoot fire balls or have glowing red eyes," she told me stiffly. "The only difference between them and humans are the fact that they can touch fire without being burned, they can develop unnatural strength, and they do not age like a human."

"Can Nicole fly?" I asked. Mitch was definitely laughing now and I tried to kick him, but he was too far away. Joanne's glare became more angry and significantly more exasperated.

"Absolutely not," she snapped. I opened my mouth to ask another question but Joanne held up her hand before I could. "This is not what I wanted to tell you two." Joanne sat down next to me and looked out at the water. "About 37 years ago Nicole got married. Her husband, Raoul, and her had two children. A girl named Rebecca and a boy named Nathan."

"She never mentioned them," Mitch said softly. He wasn't laughing now, and I was no longer trying to deny what Joanne was telling me. Grimly Joanne continued her story.

"Nicole put a Mary Sue into the Section 3.5 prison about five years ago. But the Sue escaped and the first thing she did was to go after Nicole. This Mary Sue, if I recall she had some stupid name like Crystal-something Jem-something, kidnapped her husband and her daughter." Mitch and I gasped aloud. "Nicole hasn't heard a word about them since. Her daughter was eight years old."

"And you think that she knows where they are?" I asked.

"Or," Mitch said, his eyes wide with realization, "she's found someone who does."

--

"Simon," Agent Kip asked as she sat across from the Sue hunter, "is it true that you spoke to Office Director Rakov last night?"

"I'm not sure it's any of your business," Simon pointed out dryly.

"If you don't start answering my questions," Kip growled, "then I'll have you arrested for impeding the hunt for a fugitive and I will make sure you never do work for the PODB again. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Simon answered grudgingly. And this was the truth, Simon may not agree with or like what Kip was saying, but he did comprehend the meaning of what she was saying.

"So once more," the Agent said through gritted teeth "is it true that you spoke to Office Director Rakov last night?"

"It is," Simon answered looking angry, "it was about an hour after I'd sent my report on the successful capture of the Mary Sue Anthea Ysanne. She called to ask me to clarify a part of my report."

"And what part was that exactly?" Kip asked. "I need to know exactly what was said." Simon pursed his lips, contemplating refusing for a minute before answering reluctantly.

"First she congratulated me on my capture," he began finally, "I've worked with her before you know. After that she said she wanted to hear more about the other Mary Sue I encountered. I retold what had happened but apparently she was looking for more details. She asked me if there had been anyone else there, and if there was any indication as to where she was going."

"And what did you tell her?" Kip demanded.

"All I could tell her was that the Sue was wearing a pink cloak," Simon admitted, "like many Sues do. I couldn't answer her other questions."

"And was there anything else?"

"No," Simon answered firmly, "she said good night and hung up." He looked the Section 1 Agent in the eye, he wasn't half as scared as he should have been of her, and she knew it. "So can I go now?"

"Simon you know that I can't tell you what to do," Kip said finally, "you aren't a member of any Section and you are not under arrest. At the same time I'm going to strongly advise you to stay very close by and keep our office informed if you absolutely have to go somewhere else."

"I can't promise anything," Simon told her as he stood up and started to leave, "I'll see you around."

"Listen to me. I am not playing games with you Simon," the agent snarled grabbing his arm, "you go even an inch too far away and I'll have you thrown into a prison on suspicion of being an accomplice."

Simon didn't even blink or allow himself to show any emotion at her outburst. Calmly Simon detached himself from Kip's grasp.

"Thanks for the warning Kip."

Agent Kip watched the man leave with a scowl on her face. She longed to call him back and throw him into a cell until he learned some manners but she restrained herself and let him leave.

Kip hated people who thought that they didn't have anything to fear by going against the law. The laws that the PODB enforced were there to keep order in all dimensions and they were not things to be taken lightly.

After waiting a minute Kip exited the building. She surreptitiously got into her car and pulled out behind Simon, keeping a couple of cars between them so that he would not see her following him. Kip's instinct told her that Simon was involved in this whole mess somehow however, and by following him Kip was sure she could figure out where the traitor Nicole Rakov was hiding out with the Mary Sue she'd freed from the Section 3.5 dungeon.


	12. Part 2: Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:**_

_Many thanks to all-evil-grins, Cryptic Sarcasm, and The Queen Of Confusion for reading and reviewing!_

_I hope everyone has a good holiday! As long as I avoid my mother, (and her obsessive need to vanquish every dust particle in our house), I think I should be okay._

**Chapter #4:**

"Are you sure Nicole won't kill us for breaking into her office?" I asked as I kept an eye out for anyone who might interrupt our little crime spree.

"She gave me a key for emergencies and if this isn't one then I don't know what she had in mind," Joanne answered casually.

"Did she also give you her computer passwords for emergencies?"

"Not exactly."

"Then don't you think she'll have a bit of a problem with you guys hacking into her files?" I looked over at Mitch who was sitting at the computer typing rapidly as he worked to break into Nicole's e-mail account.

"I think this is the one instance where she won't mind," Mitch commented, "after all we are trying to save her."

"Nicole doesn't need saving," I muttered.

"No," Joanne informed me impatiently rolling her eyes, "Nicole doesn't believe that she needs saving, she's stubborn like that. She does, however, definitely need our help and soon."

"Got it!" Mitch cheered. Joanne and I peered over to look at the screen.

"Mitch," I sighed, "there isn't anything in here. We just spent half an hour for nothing. Nicole probably deleted her mail, especially if it had something to do with whatever's happening with her."

"Nicole is an excellent Office Director and was an excellent Agent," Mitch told us, "but she is truly horrible at working computers. If she deleted the mail she probably didn't think to destroy the history." There was a short pause and then he grinned. "Here we go her history shows that last night she received an e-mail from Simon Doyle." Mitch looked at Joanne. "Do you remember Simon?"

"Yeah I do," she answered, "and I remember where his house is. Let's go and see what he knows about this whole thing."

-- 

Arwen, Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, and fifty soldiers from Gondor marched had on the old fortress. They stood outside, waiting for the Mary Sue to come out. Finally the figure, dressed in pink came out onto a balcony, looking down on them all condescendingly.

"Well like it totally took you long enough to like come and start to worship me," she said, "but I like totally forgive you."

"We are not here to worship you Sue," Eomer called, "we are here to destroy you." He turned to Legolas irritated. "If you would take care of this."

"My pleasure," the elf grinned. He raised his bow and arrow and aimed carefully. The Mary Sue didn't even bother to move. Legolas' arrow flew straight at her and buried itself into her neck.

And then she pulled the arrow out with a giggle.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said suddenly sounding fiercer and not very Sue-like at all.

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Faramir announced with a gulp.

-- 

"Joanne," Simon said when he opened the door, "Mitch. What a surprise." But he didn't sound surprised. He glanced over our shoulders, looking for something. Joanne looked at him curiously and he nodded slightly twice. "Why don't you come inside?" he asked.

"Thanks Simon," Mitch said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me in.

"You should have called," he said as soon as the door was closed. Neither Mitch or Joanne said anything. "It's just Kip watching me, and she doesn't have the house bugged. She might come charging in now that she's seen you lot come though. She doesn't have much patience."

"How'd she know that you e-mailed Nicole?" Mitch asked looking hurt that Kip had found the lead before he had.

"She didn't," he replied, "she received a report from me right before she left. Nicole also called me about that mission. I'm guessing that something I saw meant something to her."

"That's our guess."

"Umm hello?" I waved my hands around. The three of them turned and gave me strange looks. "I don't like being ignored." Mitch rolled his eyes.

"Simon this is Amy," he turned to me, "Amy this is Simon. Happy?"

"Thrilled."

"Anyway…"

"What did you tell Nicole?" Joanne asked. Simon told us everything he'd said to Nicole.

"A Sue with raspberry eyes who keeps a man and a little girl prisoner," Joanne mused, "defiantly the Mary Sue who kidnapped her husband and daughter." At Simon's confused look Joanne waved her hand as if to say, "it's better you don't know" and he shrugged but didn't ask.

"But where is she?" Simon asked.

"We were hoping you might know," Mitch said with a sad smile.

"So what now?" I asked. The three Sue Hunters looked over at me. "Come on, we have to think of something!"

-- 

"What are we going to do now?" Faramir asked the group. They were all sitting back in the Minas Tirith throne room.

All of them except for Eowyn, Legolas, and Aragorn.

"We're going to get them back," Arwen assured them all and herself at the same time.

"But you saw her," Gimli reminded them sternly, "this one is nothing like the others were! We can not defeat this one and her evil servants without the help of people who know more." The dwarf fixed them all with a look. "You know who I am talking about."

"We know," Eomer sighed, "Nicole, Amy, Mitch, and Joanne know more then we do however you are forgetting that we do not know where they are. We have no way of contacting them, even if they could help us."

"But we do have a way," Arwen spoke up suddenly, "before they left they gave Aragorn a device that they claimed would contact them if we were in need of assistance."

"Then we should use it," Faramir exclaimed.

"Agreed," Arwen nodded, "I will fetch it."

-- 

No one said anything after I'd spoken. We were all racking our brains, Nicole wasn't here so she had found something that had helped her. But what was it? After a few minutes the silence was interrupted, but not by any of us.

There was a sudden pounding on the door, insistent and fierce. After a beat Simon walked over and pulled the door open to reveal a grimly grinning Kip.

"I knew that you were all trying to help your friend Nicole," she said looking over all of us, "but I'm here to stop you."


	13. Part 2: Chapter 5

**Chapter #5:**

"And you are sure that this is safe?" Faramir asked looking at the strange device with trepidation. It was a small grey oval, flattened into a thick disc. It was hard, but not made of either stone or wood. In the center was a red button.

"It doesn't matter," Gimli pointed out, "we don't have a choice."

"Here is goes," Arwen muttered. Closing her eyes the Queen pressed the red button.

-- 

"You four are going to be charged with attempting to aid a fugitive," Kip informed us, "and then I'm going to be asking you a few more ques-" She broke off, looking over at Joanne, Mitch, and I.

This was because all three of our phones were going crazy. Slowly Joanne reached over and pulled hers out, looking at the screen. I pulled mine out of my pocket and looked at it.

The readout on the screen said simply, "MidE-911", definitely not something I'd ever heard of before.

"Give that to me," Kip snarled pulling my cell phone out of my hands, "who would be calling all three of you? Nicole perhaps?" She looked partly triumphant, no doubt figuring that she had just discovered a new lead.

"No wait-" Joanne started but it was too late. Kip pressed the button to answer the phone.

All of the sudden the whole room began to spin wildly. I tried to scream but I didn't have a voice. It felt as if the spinning lasted for hours though I'm pretty sure it was only a few seconds.

Finally the spinning came to a jerking stop and I fell to the ground.

The floor, which had previously been a nice cream colored carpet, was now grass. As in we were now outside instead of inside. As in we were no longer in the place where we had been. As in something bad had happened.

Knowing that I wouldn't like what I saw I took Mitch's offered hand and stood up slowly, keeping my eyes shut tight.

"What the hell is happening here?" I heard Kip demanding.

"I tried to warn you," Joanne sighed sounding amused.

"I'm glad that someone is finding this funny," Simon commented.

"Well it sort of is," Joanne defended herself.

I finally opened my eyes. Then I shut them and counted to five. Then I opened them again.

But the city of Minas Tirith hadn't gone away.

-- 

"So how have you been?" Mitch was asking our old friends from Middle Earth a few minutes later. We had been ushered right in to see the group who had been waiting in the throne room. In there was Arwen, Eomer, Faramir, and Gimli, all looking relieved to see us.

"A Mary Sue has kidnapped Eowyn, Aragorn, and Legolas," Eomer told us quickly.

"We saw Legolas shoot her through the neck with an arrow and yet she lives," Arwen informed us, "we have seen that and more happen to her servants and yet they all still live. We do not know what more we can do."

"I hate Sues," I muttered weakly, falling into a chair.

"I don't have time for this," Kip said loudly, "I am very sorry for your problems and I promise that we will send someone else to help you as soon as possible but these people here are going to have to come with me."

"Not happening Kip," Joanne told the other Agent, "unless you happened to bring an inter-dimensional traveling device with you." Kip glared but it was obvious that she didn't have any. "Unfortunately we are stuck here until somebody comes to get us. Our phones won't work here."

"So we're trapped here?" I asked starting to panic. Middle Earth was great and all, but it had a disturbing lack of junk food and candy. I could survive without a lot of things, but I didn't think that I would make it without candy.

"Not for long," Mitch assured me, "probably just for a couple of days."

"A couple of days," Kip repeated slowly, her voice hollow.

"So," Mitch said turning to the Middle Earth group, "tell us everything you know about the Mary Sue."

-- 

"Hello," Legolas stirred to hear someone talking to him, a man. "Hello?" the man repeated, "Are you all right?" Legolas sat up and looked around. He was chained to a wall. There was a man across from him, the one who had been calling to him.

To his right Legolas was disheartened to see an unconscious Aragorn, also chained to the wall. Legolas cursed inwardly at the predicament that they had someone found themselves in.

"Who are you?" Legolas asked the man, "Where are we?"

"My name is Raoul Rakov," the man told him grimly, "and we are in **her** dungeon."

"Her?" Legolas asked.

"The Mary Sue's," the man elaborated, "her name is Crysthanie Gemtha."


	14. Part 2: Chapter 6

**_Author's Note:_**

_Sorry about the delay, it's been a busy week. I hope that people enjoy the next chapter. I just thought I'd clarify that Raoul is an original character._

**Chapter #6:**

After they had told us everything that they knew about the Sue Joanne and Mitch exchanged looks.

"It's the same Sue," Simon exclaimed. Kip looked over at him sharply.

"I knew it," she crowed, "you are looking for Nicole."

"Well of course we are," Joanne burst out, her temper getting the best of her as she rounded on Kip fiercely, "she's our friend and we know the kind of witch hunt that your Section likes to pull. I'm not going to let you do that to Nicole. I know that there's a reason she's doing this."

"What reason could there be?" Kip demanded. Joanne sighed and I knew she was going to tell them everything that she knew.

"Lass," Gimli whispered to me, "let's take a walk."

"Without the others?" I asked softly.

"While no one is paying attention to you," he explained, "Joanne and Mitch could come but I couldn't get them away without drawing attention." With a nod I began to follow Gimli. Together we slipped, unnoticed, out of the room. Then we went outside, into the dark night.

"Where are we going?" I asked with a slight shiver.

"To see Nicole."

A few minutes later we were walking along the outside of the city, not far from where we'd set the traps for the Sues the last time I'd been to Middle Earth. I saw a figure in a cloak hunched over a fire.

"Who's there?" the voice asked.

"Gimli and Amy," the dwarf replied. The figure pulled their hood off and I saw Nicole's worn face grinning at me.

"I suppose I was right in guessing that you, Mitch, and Joanne wouldn't come here alone," she mentioned as she motioned for Gimli and I to sit down around the warm fire.

"A Section 1 Agent named Kip and a man named Simon," I told Nicole. I looked over at her, worried by what I was seeing.

In the harsh flickering light of the fire I could really see just how gaunt and painfully thin Nicole's face was. There were large the circles around her green eyes and her eyes themselves were bloodshot, probably from lack of sleep. She looked older then she had when I had met her, and not only because when I had met her she had been undercover as a High School student.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"I've been better," she admitted bitterly after a pause, "but it's ok, I'll be fine." She looked into the fire, thinking. "Agent Kip," she sighed finally, "I should have known. Kip's the best at her job. And I'm sure by now she'll have figured out that I'm here somewhere."

"How would she know?" I asked.

"She's just good at finding people," Nicole shrugged, "she'll figure out that the Mary Sue is the one that I'm after. It doesn't take a genius. Kip will have me thrown into a dungeon while the Sue remains free." Nicole grabbed a stone and threw it off into the dark in frustration.

"But you know how to fight this Sue," Gimli pointed out, "this woman must realize that you can help."

"Kip is one of the best," Nicole said with a shrug, "but she knows nothing about Mary Sues. The section Kip works for don't deal with Sues often and so they tend to write them off as harmless annoyances. Granted they normally are nothing more but… well," she sighed, "once in a while they're dangerous. Like this Sue, she'll be hard to defeat. But it can be done if you know how."

"But you do know how?" I asked. Nicole laughed for the first time.

"Yes," she confirmed with a smile, "but it won't be easy."

"I didn't think it for a second," Gimli told her with a smile of his own, "but I hope at least it's fun."

"Oh don't worry," Nicole assured him, "it'll be a lot of fun."

"That's the Nicole I know," I said. It was the first time since this whole mess had begun that I felt as if things would actually turn out all right.

--

Eowyn woke up with a pounding headache and a chain on her ankle. She also vaguely remembered being captured my, of all things, a Mary Sue. Yes, this was the recipe for a very bad day and Eowyn knew it before she'd even sat up.

"You're awake," Eowyn started and looked over to see a girl, a young girl, sitting next to her. The girl was also secured to the wall by a chain attached to her ankle. The girl had curly black hair and a serious face. Her eyes were green and seemed somewhat familiar to Eowyn, though she couldn't place them.

"Who are you?" Eowyn asked.

"I'm Rebecca," the girl said, "the pig keeps me a prisoner."

"The pig?" Eowyn asked.

"That's what I call the Sue," Rebecca explained with a small grin, "she wants me to call her your highness or other such nonsense but I always call her a pig. It's because she likes pink so much and always wears it. Also because she hates to be thought of as a fat slob." Eowyn couldn't help but to grin back at the little girl.

"My name is Eowyn," she told the girl.

"You made the pig angry," Rebecca said in awe, "she was really pitching a fit. I haven't seen her that mad in years. It was brilliant!"

"Well," Eowyn told the girl softly, "I'll bet it'll make her even more mad if we escape." The girl's face fell.

"I want to but I haven't been able to," Rebecca said softly, "I used to try but the pig said that she'd hurt my dad. She has him too I think."

"I'm sorry Rebecca," Eowyn told her gripping the child's hand gently. Eowyn was filled with rage at a creature who would do something like this, to the girl, to her father, and to Eowyn herself.

"We'll save him too," Eowyn promised the girl, "we won't leave without him."

"Thank you," she said.


	15. Part 2: Chapter 7

**Chapter #7:**

"We cut off her hair?" I asked incredulously. "That's all?"

"It does seem a bit anti-climatic after watching her pull an arrow out of her neck the other day," Gimli admitted fingering his axe, "but you were right to say that it was fun."

"Believe me," Nicole cautioned us both, "it's a harder task then it sounds. Mary Sues are vain about their hair, getting close enough to it will be a challenge. But as long as you two keep Kip from finding me I should be able to succeed."

"Wait," I said looking over at Nicole, "wait just one second."

"What is it Amy?" Gimli asked looking between the two of us.

"She's going after the Sue alone," I told Gimli pointing an accusatory finger at Nicole.

"Nicole," Gimli said in a scolding voice, "you should know better then to go after this Mary Sue on your own. I know that you are more then a competent fighter but wouldn't it be safer if we went after her as a group?"

"No," Nicole argued, "you two should go back and-"

"Nicole this is insane," Gimli told her.

"It is not insane," Nicole told us, "it's just the way things have to be. If too many people go then the Sue will see us coming. Also I'm going to be hunted by Kip until I produce the Sue."

"What about the Sue that you broke out of prison?" I asked. Nicole waved an unconcerned hand.

"I left her locked up with a few tarantulas who had muddy feet at my house," she told us. I wasn't sure whether she was kidding or not. "If we don't get back home in five days a friend of mine will deliver her back to Section 3.5 headquarters and she'll go back to prison."

"You have it all thought out," Gimli muttered sarcastically. Nicole rolled her eyes.

"Scoff all you want, this is the way that things are going to be. You two are going back to the city now, and for all anyone knows, you never left and you certainly didn't see me. You will then proceed to do everything in your power to keep everyone away from the Sue, Crysthanie Gemtha, until I come back."

And with that Nicole stalked off. Gimli and I exchanged looks.

"So… those were pretty clear directions," I commented as she disappeared into the distance.

"We are not going to listen though," Gimli said, "right?"

"Right," I nodded. Then the two of us set off, following Nicole from a distance.

-- 

"Legolas," Aragorn said as he looked around, "where are we?"

"We've been captured by the Mary Sue," Legolas told his friend bluntly, "and this is Raoul, another victim of the Sue."

"Nice to meet you," the King said slowly, "…I think…"

"I understand that it's not the ideal way to meet a person," the man told him.

"We have to find a way to escape," Aragorn said testing the chain's strength.

"I agree," Legolas said, "but Raoul, he is reluctant to try attempt anything."

"The Sue has my daughter," he explained, "please I can't do anything to endanger her." Legolas and Aragorn exchanged looks, wondering what to do.

-- 

"So you see," Mitch said to Kip, "Nicole didn't have a choice. She did what she had to do." Kip groaned.

"Fine," Kip sighed, "I can see how there's a reason behind her actions however she still broke the law." Joanne practically tore her hair out in frustration as she rounded on the Section 1 Agent.

"Oh for the love of-"

"Amy?" Everyone in the room turned to look at Mitch who was looking around the room wildly. "Has anyone seen Amy?" Arwen, Eomer, and Faramir were looking back at him with "innocent" gazes. Simon, however, spoke right up.

"She left with the dwarf," he said calmly.

"Okay," Joanne said turning her suppressed anger on Eomer, Arwen, and Faramir, "somebody tell me what's going on right now!"

"Well…" Arwen started.

"It was Nicole's fault," Faramir burst out.

"Faramir!"

"I'm sorry," he cried, "I can't take it anymore! You guys got here fast… but Nicole got here faster."

"I knew it!" Kip exclaimed.

"Shut up and let him tell us where Amy is," Mitch snapped.

"They were meeting Nicole outside the city where we fought the Sues last time," Arwen told him in a calming voice, "she's going to be all right. Gimli and Nicole are with her." Mitch started towards the door.

"Let's go," he said urgently to the others. Joanne followed him muttering something about picking up some weapons. Faramir, Arwen, and Eomer followed a second later. Simon sighed, looking annoyed but joined the group. Finally Kip stalked after them.

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" she asked.

"You know," Joanne said as she caught up with her, "for someone whose first name is Felicity you are a very pessimistic person. Felicity does mean happiness after all."

"Don't call me Felicity," she snapped, "nobody calls me Felicity."

"Come on," Mitch called, "we have to go!"


	16. Part 2: Chapter 8

**Chapter #8:**

For the guys who were still trapped in the Super Sue's prison things were not going well. Both Legolas and Aragorn were incredibly fearful about being imprisoned by the Sue. While Legolas was remaining composed, Aragorn was becoming twitchy. For him an escape, no matter how reckless or unlikely to succeed it was. Raoul did not share his feelings.

"I told you already," Raoul shouted at Legolas and Aragorn, "I won't do anything-"

"Keep your voice down," Legolas cautioned.

"I won't do anything," he continued in a softer voice, "that could endanger my daughter."

"You can't help her from in here," Aragorn argued with the man, "but once we escape we can help her. We'll go out there and find her. But we can not stay here, not while we are all at the mercy of this Sue."

"You don't-" But Raoul was interrupted by the sound of people outside of the door. A second later there was the sound of pounding on the door. Then it crashed open to reveal two women.

But it was not the Sue or any of her servants. It was Eowyn and the girl, Rebecca.

"Rebecca!"

"Daddy!" The little girl ran into Raoul's arms and her hugged her tight.

"Eowyn you were captured by the Mary Sue too?" Aragorn asked as the woman came over and started breaking the chains holding the man.

"I would scarcely be here if that were not the case," she pointed out in a grim voice. "This is a fate I would not wish on my worst enemy."

"I could not agree more," Legolas said as Eowyn moved over to free him, "Eowyn you are a savior."

"Thank you for helping my daughter," Raoul told Eowyn.

"She is a delight," the lady assured him.

"While the family reunion is touching," Legolas said, "Mary Sues are the most terrifying creatures out there so I think we should get out of here. Now." Aragorn nodded, already making his way to the door.

The rest followed with no further urging. The idea of staying there for another minute was more the any of them could take.

Unfortunately Eowyn, Aragorn, Legolas, Raoul, and Rebecca hadn't gone very far when they came across several angry servants of Crysthanie Gemtha. Soon the several turned into a whole army.

"Do any of you have a weapon?" Raoul asked.

"No," Aragorn said regretfully.

"So what do we do?" Legolas asked.

"Run?" Eowyn suggested.

"Yes," Legolas nodded, "running may work."

--

"So Gimli," I said to my dwarvish friend as we stood outside of the threatening fortress, "should we follow Nicole into the Mary Sue's fortress?"

"Why shouldn't we?" he asked, "We have come this far after all."

"That makes sense," I answered looking nervously at the foreboding edifice, "you go first." I remembered only too well it as the place where Marley, Tara, and Caitlyn had almost killed me a year ago. Gimli twirled his axe around nervously as he went through the door and I adjusted my grip on the twin small swords that Gimli had brought for me as I followed.

We didn't see anyone for a while, not even Nicole. We didn't know exactly where she had gone once she'd gotten inside so Gimli and I just wandered hoping that we would find her.

As Gimli and I headed down a dark hallway we heard footsteps running towards us. Before I could react Gimli pulled me into a shadowed doorway so that they wouldn't see us. We were shocked to see Aragorn, Legolas, Eowyn, a man and a young girl run past us.

"Hey!" I called stepping out.

"Gimli," Legolas cried in shock, "Amy?"

"Tell us how you got here later," Eowyn snapped pulling on my arm, "run now!" I looked behind me to see the servants of the Sue streaming into the hallway, drooling and wearing pink. No one needed to tell me twice. I ran as fast as I could away from the servants of the Sue.

"We're going to die," I cried as I ran.

"No we are not," Gimli told me.

"How are you always so optimistic?" Aragorn panted.

"Well for one," Gimli answered, "the Sues could care less about me. Don't you remember? I am not worthy of their attentions. Second, don't you all think that everyone else will be coming here very soon?"

"It would not be smart for them to come here since this Mary Sue is undefeatable," Legolas pointed out logically.

"These are the same people who faced down Sauron with no hope of victory," Gimli pointed out, "someone will come."

"I wish I shared your-" I started to say.

Just then I was interrupted by Faramir, Arwen, Eomer, Joanne, Mitch, Simon, and Kip and a couple of Gondor's finest. They were all brandishing weapons.

"Gimli I will never doubt you again," I told the dwarf simply.


	17. Part 2: Chapter 9

_**Author's **__**Note**__** Apology:**_

_So I never finished this did I? … Whoops. I really thought that I had uploaded the end of this story, but apparently I just wrote it and then forgot. I am really sorry about that. So I will finish Part Two without any further ado. This is not supposed to be the end, but a chronic attack of writer's block has left me unable to write more for the present. Hopefully in a couple of months it will be cured and I will post more but for the time being thank you for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate everyone who has continued to read, even through the lack of updates. Thank you and I hope you enjoy the end._

**Chapter #9:**

Crysthanie Gemtha was sitting in her pink sparkly throne, staring moodily out the window. It was not a good day for her, what with the prisoners escaping and the people of this new dimension being completely unwilling to worship her and all of her greatness. Sometimes the Super Sue just could not understand the ugly masses who were always saying the meanest things to her. Crysthanie Gemtha heard the door to her throne room open.

"Like you had better be here to like tell me that you got them all back into their cells," she snapped turning to glare at her cowering servant.

The cowering servant, however, was nowhere in sight. Instead she found herself staring into the angry face of-

"Nicole Rakov," Crysthanie Gemtha grinned, her face no longer cheerful and dumb, but evil and smug, "it is so good to see you again. How long has it been? Five years, right? You know, you have changed. I didn't think that you would. You look as if you're wasting away." She stood up. "Truth is, you look like crap honey."

"Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me," Nicole said carelessly, not bothering to hide her sword as she ran her hand over it thoughtfully. "You should know that I've dreamed of this for years."

"It's a shame that you've spent all of this time waiting," Crysthanie Gemtha chuckled softly her raspberry eyes dancing, "for something that will never, ever, happen." The Sue reached up and patted her blond hair. "Try everything you want, you'll die before I let you so much as breathe on my hair."

"Oh don't worry, I don't need to breathe on it. Just slice it off."

--

"Took you long enough to get here," Gimli called out to Faramir, Arwen, Eomer, Joanne, Mitch, Simon, and Kip.

"If you have any weapons," Eowyn said as she hugged Faramir, "maybe I could borrow one?"

"Me too," Legolas spoke up. Aragorn nodded in agreement as he kissed Arwen.

"Any weapon," Raoul spoke up, "if you give me a weapon I'll fight."

"Raoul?" Joanne cried, "Rebecca?"

"Joanne!" Raoul exclaimed in disbelief as he saw her. "Where's Nicole?"

"We were following her," I told them, "she came in here and then we lost her-"

"Talk later!" Eomer cautioned me as he pulled me out of the way of one of the servant's attacks. I sighed getting my little swords ready to slice.

"Legolas," Arwen shouted, "take the girl and stand away from them. You can still shoot them while you keep the girl from the fight." The elf nodded and did what she'd suggested.

One of the servants came at me and I stabbed her right through her stomach. She giggled brainlessly and continued to come at me. Terrified I slapped her full in the face and then shoved her away from me.

"You should punch," Mitch commented to me, "slapping is just wimpy. You should punch the next one."

"How come every time I come to Middle Earth I end up in a hopeless battle against idiots obsessed with pink?" I asked angrily.

"Karma?" Simon suggested.

"Bad luck?" Eomer tried.

"Good luck," Eowyn contradicted her brother, "good for us at least."

"Fate," Arwen told me sounding certain.

"I'm going to agree with Eomer," I told them all with a loud sigh. One snarling servant launched herself at me and I caught her with my crossed blades. Then another came at me from the side. I closed my eyes, unable to move fast enough to block the second one.

I opened my eyes a second later to see Kip standing between the servant and me. She pushed the Sue's servant backwards, and right out an open window.

"She may survive that," the Agent said to me turning to fight her next opponent, "but at least it gets her out of our hair."

_"You're dead!"_

I turned wildly, hearing Nicole's voice coming from a room close by. Gimli and Aragorn, also standing close by, heard it as well.

"Go," Kip sighed, "I'll hold them off."

"Thank you," Gimli said before running towards the sound of Nicole's voice. I nodded to Kip before following Gimli and Aragorn.

--

"You're dead!" Nicole shouted furiously.

"I must be the smartest Sue in the world," Crysthanie Gemtha crowed as Nicole fought to break through her guard, "just think about it. You face Mary Sues every single day, you've probably had hundreds of us threaten your life. But at the end of the day you joke about it with your buddies from work, go home, and forget about it."

Nicole feinted towards the Sue's left leg then pulled back and stabbed at her shoulder. The Sue pulled back and the blood only flowed for a second before the wound healed itself. Crysthanie Gemtha barely looked at it.

"I got to you though," Crysthanie Gemtha hissed proudly, "I took away your home. And not just because I took your family. I took away the sense of safety you used to have. You can never feel safe in your own home again."

Angrily Nicole lunged at Crysthanie Gemtha. The Sue twirled on the spot and, moving fast came up behind Nicole, pulling the arm that held her sword up and behind her back.

"Drop it," Crysthanie Gemtha giggled. Nicole struggled and Crysthanie Gemtha pulled on Nicole's arm sharply. With a curse Nicole dropped her sword. With superhuman strength the Mary Sue threw her across the room.

--

I saw Nicole fly across the room and slam into the wall. Gimli and Aragorn leapt forward to resume the battle against the Sue. I ran over to Nicole to make sure she was all right. She sat up cracking her neck as I came up to her.

"Here," I reached down and helped Nicole to her feet, "sorry it took me so long to get here."

"You impertinent, stubborn, fool," Nicole growled as she faced me, "I thought I told you and Gimli to go back to Minas Tirith."

"We must have misunderstood you," I said innocently.

"Yeah," Nicole scoffed plucking one of my little swords from my hand, "sure."

Gimli and Aragorn surprised the Sue, who had been too busy gloating over her victory against Nicole. She barely noticed Gimli until he used his axe to hack at her, and she was forced to block him. Aragorn, moving faster then the Sue, disarmed her. Then he and Gimli managed to restrain her. Gimli sat on her legs while Aragorn kneeled on her back, his sword at her neck.

"Quickly," Aragorn managed, "she is unnaturally strong." Nicole didn't pause, she crossed over to Crysthanie Gemtha in just a few steps. Then she leaned down and, using one of my swords, cut the Mary Sue's hair off as short as she could.

Instantly Gimli and Aragorn relaxed as the Sue's struggles became feeble and weak.

"I think that her powers are gone," Gimli remarked. A noise at the door caused us to look over. Kip was leaning in the doorway, surveying the scene.

"Whatever you guys did worked," she told us, "all of the servants have lost their powers, and most are just collapsed on the ground, drooling." Then Kip looked over at the Mary Sue. "If she has survived the fight then the law says she should be thrown back into the prison," she commented looking at Nicole. Kip's face was unreadable though Nicole's face looked suddenly terrified.

"I suppose it is," she finally said, her voice faint. Kip rolled her eyes.

"I was never here," she told us throwing up her arms, "I saw no Sue. I saw nothing." The she walked out of the room.

Nicole turned back to the Mary Sue, who was glaring back up at all of us.

"Do whatever you want," Crysthanie Gemtha snarled at Nicole, "we both know that you will never feel safe again." Nicole slit the Sue's throat without a pause. I shuddered and looked away, fighting to keep my stomach down.

"People should not fear Mary Sues," Nicole said softly as the Sue died.

Aragorn, Gimli, and I exchanged looks. No matter what Nicole said the three of us could tell that she was pretending to be less effected then she'd actually been.

"Let's go see how everyone else fared," Nicole said turning her back on the now completely dead Crysthanie Gemtha. Gimli, Aragorn, and I followed her out, leaving the Mary Sue behind. As I left I couldn't help but look back once more at the Sue.

No matter what Nicole, or anyone else said, my own fear of the Mary Sues would not be easily repressed.


	18. Part 2: Chapter 10

**Chapter #10:**

Gimli and Aragorn led the way and we walked back to where everyone else was. Eowyn and Faramir were kissing. Eomer and Joanne were poking a Sue Servant with sticks, laughing as she drooled more and said something that sounded like "Ee-mer! Me wuv Eeeee-mmmmer!".

"You guys sure know how to have a good time," Simon commented to Mitch looking as if all they had just done was watch an interesting movie, "call me anytime you want to do this again." 

Arwen and Aragorn were holding hands as they spoke to Kip. Raoul was talking to Joanne as he kept an eye on his daughter who had happily joined Eomer and Joanne in poking the Sue Servants.

Nicole gasped as she saw Raoul. Her face, which a second ago had looked emotionless, (unless you counted exhaustion as an emotion), now looked disbelieving and hopeful. A second later Nicole let out a strangled cry and began to run towards Raoul.

Raoul's face broke into a joyful smile, practically glowing with happiness. Nicole had almost reached him but he ran to her anyways. As they reached each other Nicole leapt into Raoul's arms and he spun her around laughing.

"Rebecca!" Nicole cried as she saw her daughter. She hugged the startled girl.

Mitch and Joanne came over to stand next to me. Joanne was staring at the reunion between Nicole, Raoul, and Rebecca, looking pleased. Mitch was looking at me, concerned.

"Are you all right Amy?" he asked.

"Don't worry about me," I told him with a sigh holding my arms out and twirling around, "I'm fine. No cuts, no scrapes, and no bleeding wounds." Mitch grabbed my arm to stop me from twirling with a chuckle. I looked over at Nicole. "They look happy," I observed.

"It'll be an adjustment," Joanne sighed, "it won't be easy for them."

--

The next day we were all back in Minas Tirith. It was nice to be spending time in Middle Earth when there were no Mary Sues after us, and we could just enjoy the beauty of Middle Earth. After a long day of touring the city we were all relaxing and eating dinner.

Rebecca, Raoul, and Nicole had spent the day sitting together and talking, catching up on the time they had missed. At dinner Rebecca sat happily between her two parents, looking a lot less timid then she had before.

Legolas was telling a story about how hard it had been to try to educate the elves of Mirkwood about the Mary Sues. Even Kip was laughing.

"I drew pictures of them, I even dressed up as them, yet still none of the elves would believe that such a creature could possibly exist. They all believed that there was no chance a creature **that** stupid was real." We all laughed again. "Now that I have one of those Sue Servants to bring back with me I should be able to convince them all that they are real."

"Just remember," Kip cautioned, "I'll come back in a year to bring her straight to prison. If you let her escape-"

"I'll make sure he does not mess up," Gimli assured her, "we will have guards watching her at all times."

"Wow," Mitch commented, "you're just breaking rules left and right. Letting Legolas keep a Sue Servant as his prisoner, and not trying to get Nicole fired for breaking that other Sue out of prison."

"It doesn't mean that she's off the hook," the Agent told us seriously.

"What do you mean?" Joanne growled looking suspicious.

"Well she still broke the rules," Kip pointed. She ignored Joanne who had started cursing and threatening her. "But since she does have a good excuse I think that two weeks paid suspension should be punishment enough."

"We'll take a family vacation," Raoul said.

"Well all's well that ends well," I sighed taking another bite of the delicious food.

"Wait a second," Kip exclaimed, "how are we going to get home?"

"It's not a problem," Nicole assured her, "I brought an inter-dimensional traveling device with me. How else would I have gotten here?" Kip didn't answer, she looked completely stunned.

"I guess we'll leave tomorrow then," Mitch said to the Middle Earth residents, "but don't worry. We'll see you next time a Mary Sue attacks."

"Oh come on," I giggled, "there's not going to be a next time."

"Sure there isn't…" Eowyn chuckled sarcastically. I felt a horrible dread welling up inside of me.

"No really," I spluttered desperately, "there won't be another attack!" I looked around and saw that no one agreeing with me. I took that to be a very bad sign. "Will there?"


End file.
